The ninth session in my ongoing LotFP campaign. Despite the title very little repercussions were had, and the players instead chose to play doll house with their newly acquired keep. Which I’m perfectly fine with as I get to mess with their toys.
Coen Delgado, Claudia Var Attre (Specialists) played by Bruno
Sir Gludius Maximus (Fighter) played by Joey
Dr. Frunkenstein (Magic-User) played by James
Fiddlesworth (Fighter) played by Pedro
BumBuff, Bearslayer (Alice) played by Bryant
Pip (Specialist) played by Jose
Sir Jones (Magic-User) played by Mahiliani
Yaluk (Cleric) played by Alberto
Standing before Frunkenstein is a large sphere of liquid metal that hovers and undulates over a blackened charred forest floor. Rot & smoke fill the dry air and the taste of copper lingers at the back the man’s throat. The necromancer takes a step forward, his hand outstretched, the metal senses the man’s presence and collates into different shapes and patterns before settling into a large slab of iron. Before Frunkenstein can lay his hand upon the soothing, chilled metal, it begins to slowly lurch forward, then falls.
Frunkenstein awakens in a cold sweat, out of breath and dizzy. He reaches for his grimoire and opens to a blank page and begins writing.
Its midday when the skeletal sentry Bub alerts the Band of Cawk of solicitors at the main gate. The men jest amongst themselves as they take their time wandering the halls of the newly dubbed The Place of Al Pastor (formally Tomb of Azi Dahaka). When they finally climb the main gate’s view post, they see a older native man with determination written on his face and a younger female dressed in a strange attire reminiscent of surgeons.
The Band asks the peculiar pair to state their business and are met with a request of medical work from the young women Claudia Var Attre and a religious quest from the native man Yaluk. The men hear this request and after some murmurs, open the gate and welcome in the new workforce.
While returning to his lab, the maniacal Frunkenstein hears hushed whispers in snake language beckoning him to the Ritual Sacrifice Chamber. When he arrives hes aghast to discover a 25ft long, seemingly supernatural Anaconda coiled around a pillar, watching. The serpent greets and introduces itself as Falak, Xiximander’s familiar. He informs the spellcaster that he has taken an interest in him and demands that Frunkenstein become his acolyte and relinquish his soul in exchange for vast arcane knowledge. The necromancer declines to give up his soul (what’s left of it) and instead offers to feed the familiar regularly in exchange for small bits of arcane knowledge, Falak, hungry and weary from his travels agrees and demands his first meal. Bumbuff & Gludius stand at the doorway and watch as the necromancer bargains in hisses and flapping tounges to a large, very intimidating snake. When the deal is struck Frunkenstein returns to the hall and informs the two that the snake would like to speak to Gludius in private. The ex-knight declines the obvious ruse and asks what infernal bargain was struck instead. Frunkenstein seeing that Gludius won’t be easily fooled recants the contract to the pair.
Somehow the vile necromancer managed to talk Gludius into sacrificing his animal handler retainer Nathaniel and the men watch in disgust as the weeping boy is crushed by the serpents body then swallowed whole. In exchange the Band is issued The Writ of Sanctuary, a permit allowing the men to visit the Ghoul Market unasailed.
Later at dusk, the empty halls of Al Pastor fill with a cacophony of coarse, harsh language as the first annual Council of Cawks takes place. The agenda is discussed and Frunkenstein details his plan to begin selling iron bullion in bulk thanks to his new spell discovery while Bumbuff discusses his desire to begin a drug cartel using the Jormungand’s Blood. The rest of the men having little to no goals of their own, and agree to work either job. The rest of the meeting entales the hiring of more retainers, and buying supplies. Afterwords the men retired to their chambers for the night, but before deep sleep could take them a gunshot was heard.
Fiddlesworth was awoken by the sensation of being watched. When he got up to survey his surroundings he saw two menacing red eyes glaring at him from the dark. The fighter jumped to his feet grabbing the lone pistol besides him. The glowing crimson eyes also stood and what emerged from the shadows dumbfounded and betrayed rational, a eight foot tall nude man, ripping with muscles, with the head of a wood hare instead of a mans. Fiddlesworth didn’t stop to process the sight and fired his pistol at the creature. Unfortunately he missed the now charging rabbitman who tackled and slammed him to the ground, pinning him.
Bumbuff was the first to arrive at the scene and witnessed the creature squeeze Fiddlesworth’s mouth open and vomited black bile into his exposed orrafice. Unsure what to do, the bum became stressed and “exasperated” wishing he had something to distract the beast. Suddenly he remembered he had a large carrot that he pulled from his ass (literally or figuratively is up to you) and flaunted it at the hare-man. The beast ceased barfing into the fighter’s mouth and sniffed the air, turning his monstrous head towards Bumbuff. The creature leaped twenty feet into the air, landing with a soft thud and slowly strutted towards the man holding the orange prize. The bearslayer shot at the abomination with his flintlock dealing some damage but not stopping it. Fiddlesworth rose to his feet wiping the drying black tar from his face and charged the man-hare with his spear straight into the thing’s spine. It held the spear that protruded from its gut and began to disintegrate into more of the black ooze that seeped into the stone floor’s cracks until nothing remained of it. When the rest of the men arrived at the arena they were regailed with the tale of the man-hare.
Frunkenstein once again slithered into the sacrificial room and asked the familiar Falak for information about the attack that just took place. For the price of one fat, male, virgin he agreed to diverge some details. A deal was struck but payment would have to be made in three days time due to the snake still digesting Gludious’s retainer. The bargain was struck and Falak divulged that Al Pastor was under magical attack by the VVitch of the Woods, the Pale Lady. He also informed the de facto leader Frunkenstein that two of the council members were cursed by VVitchmark, and after slithering between the men determined Delgado & Fiddlesworth were branded with the curse on their rum & lower back respectively. The men looked at each other gravely before returning to their individual rooms.
VVitchmark of the Pale Lady
Once more the men attempted to sleep..
In the morning a new plan was enacted to have Gethsemane’s VVitchhunters slay the Pale Lady, two birds with one stone. The newest Cawk member Yaluk volunteered to persuade the hunters using a fabricated story, one of the hunter’s corpse and the location of the witch, which had been gleamed from Falak.
With the new plot in place, Bumbuff and Yaluk took the lone wagon and rode off to town.
Yaluk took the skinned face of one of the VVitchehunters and marched half a day ahead of Bumbuff as not to raise suspicion. When the native man arrived at the colonial town of Gethsemane he was questioned and verbally harrassed by the guards before given the location of the Vvitchhunters. When he later arrived at the tavern he was dragged before the leader of the hunters and questioned once more. He told a tall tale about leading the survey team of hunters to a possible location of a powerful sorceress before they were ambushed and killed. He of course was spared to regurgitate the story to the remaining men. The leader Grigori Bendedick II was no fool and demanded the savage lead him to the witch. When Yaluk refused he was viciously beaten and thrown into the street but not before having the bloodied man mark the location on a map.
Bumbuff was cheerfully greeted by the guards and exchanged courtesies before being let in without hassel (hes white, and not a savage). The bearslayer found his beaten compatriot and hauled him into the covered wagon, Yaluk chanted to his savage god for healing, which he received.
Back at Al Pastor, Frunkenstein began fortifying the stronghold with his Wall of Iron spell. Pip & Gludious sharpened thier combat skills while the barber surgeon Claudia, set up a surgery room in one of the vacant rooms. Fiddlesworth & Delgado nursed their weeping witchmarks and Sir Jones claimed the underground caverns for himself and his huntress concubine.
In town Yaluk was tasked to use his great charisma to hire the retainers on his list and purchase slaves for the stronghold’s manual labor.
Bumbuff made his way to the general goods store to purchase supplies and embark on his drug laden journey.
The bearslayer was greeted by a middle aged fat man with a widow’s peak and wicked grin. He called himself Clement and the two men conducted business and exchanged goods and coin. After the basic necessities were taken care of, Bumbuff purposed to the store owner sample a new drug he was selling. After some reservations and salesmanship, the shopkeeper reluctantly downed the red liquid. He was amazed when his features changed instantly, he grew leaner, and his face grew sharp and slightly handsome. While gawking at himself in the mirror, Clement bargained with Bumbuff on the details of their blossoming partnership. Afterwords the men shook hands and exchanged the magical blood and silver, and birth of a drug trade began.
By the end of the day, Yaluk had used his charisma to amass a sizable workforce. The two Cawk members met at the town center with the retainers and began the journey home. When they returned the retainers were settled in and Fiddlesworth was tasked with feeding Falak a male, fat, virgin slave as payment for the information gleaned about the Pale Lady and her mark. The Band of the Cawk watched nonchalantly as the magical beast devoured the suffocated man and no one raised a word of defiance.